When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I came so hard my ears popped.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
