Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
