He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
