It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
