He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So vagazzling was a success
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
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