Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Do vagina's smell?
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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