in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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