I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
