Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize