I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize
