Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
