i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
