he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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