he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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