This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Four minutes until I can fart!
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
