This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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