May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Randomize
