I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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