she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
