Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
