dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
