Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize