I want to stick my p in your. b.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
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