I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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