everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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