Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
