I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
