I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Your penis caused this!
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