I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
