coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
this boner is exhausting
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
