found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
