Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
