Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Just pee around me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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