We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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