I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
