nut hugger
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Randomize
