I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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