Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I pour the whiskey from now on
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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