I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
