i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
