last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
