Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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