she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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