And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
