So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Someone signed my nipple.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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