you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
