Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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