i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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