I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
