Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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