I should be sponsored by Trojan
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
