just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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