i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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