Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Randomize
