Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
