Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
