yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
