i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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