hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
